Today I have brought a blog post to the traditional podcast format. Enjoy the following blog format writing.
I’m super excited to share that I have started a free Facebook group all about the Peaceful Power Practices we discuss on this show and we apply them to our everyday lives. If you want to join the Peaceful Power Party you can find it by heading over to our facebook group.
Now onto today’s topic I want to talk judgement the good, bad & ugly of it. First I want to talk about my upbringing with judgement. Growing up in a small town judgement not only happens but we all know what the judgement is from our neighbors or friends. I saw this in my own household with my mom who is pretty judgmental. Not only was my mom but my best friends mom was as well. That is what we were modeled on a daily basis. I was also modeled that diets were something you did on a yearly basis or getting ready for an event. My mom was always on the next diet or the latest fad. I really wasn’t affected by her diets but did find myself more intrigued by oldest girl cousin’s diets. She was 3 years older than me and would be on diet from time to time which was my first glimpse into the teenage years of dieting. I of course thought should I be on one? I thought diets were just for adults? That was when I was in middle school. I thankfully didn’t really diet but did pay attention to calorie count & would put my crackers or chips in baggies with the exact serving size the box said I also cut out soda since my cousin did which turned out to be a great thing. That was my first exposure to judgement. Women judging their bodies and how they weren’t good enough. Judging when someone was skinner then they were or someone put on a few pounds. Never being content with what was.
In the early 90’s when I grew up the model thin look was in so there was a ton of pressure to be model skinny. I started lifting weights when I was 16 and only did arms & abs. I didn’t put any leg workouts into my program as I didn’t want my legs to get any bigger. I already thought I was the biggest girl on my sports teams. In actuality that wasn’t true we were all the same size but I saw myself so much bigger at the time. I think we all do that we judge and compare ourselves to celebrities, best friends, women we see on social media. One of the things we don’t always know is what is actually going on in that person’s life. There can be so many reasons why they made certain decisions, gained weight, lost weight, or started a workout plan. We don’t always know what’s going on with that person. My constant seeking of perfection with my own body in high school led me to cut myself for about 6 years. This is the first time I’ve shared that information with anyone besides one client. I felt so much pressure to be perfect with my body be a good athlete, and make the B honor roll that I started to cut myself. I craved seeing the scar, or blood from my arm. In high school I had an amazing friend who did threaten me that if I didn’t stop she was going to tell my parents. That had did make me stop for a month or two when she would check to make sure I didn’t cut myself. Then I went to college and felt the same pressure and it started again. I felt I was a disappointment on the basketball court and started cutting again. I did end up stopping my junior year. I would say I just grew out of it. I didn’t have any epiphany besides the fact I was tired of wearing wristbands playing tennis to cover my cuts. I’m lucky I don’t have any scars from cutting. Those are things we don’t always see about people. We think we know who they are and what they are about by looking at someone but we really are onions that we have to peel. The more you get to know someone & the more they trust you the more they will reveal about themselves.
If we start by judging right away we never get to see that woman who just lost 50 pounds and still has 100 to lose we judge them that they must not work out, we never see the mom who’s struggling with bonding with her child we see her as impatient or apathetic, we never see the women who is addicted to looking perfect because we think she has it all together but really she is crying deep down in her soul. These are things that I’ve seen and discovered from working with amazing women these past 10 years as a trainer. When you take the time to really get to know someone and not judge at face value you can discover some amazing souls waiting to be found.
My challenge to you this week is to stop the judging. Who can you say hi to on the sidewalk, reach out to either in person or online that you’ve looked past to really connect with who they are as a person.
Short & sweet today but just as powerful this is laying down some of the groundwork for me to open up even more on the next solo show about my 1st year being a mom and some of the silent battles I’ve had.
Go out there & spread your peaceful power.